While at Winter NAMM 2010, I spent some time with my bands bass player and his old band mates from the 60’s. They kept telling me I needed to go to the Guitar Geek Festival that was happening down the street from the Convention Center. I sat on the fence and almost didn’t go. I was tired, my feet hurt and seen enough for one day. Well, at the last minute I went. My friends had saved me a seat which was a coveted prize they had to fight for to hold for me. It turned out to be the most entertainment I had, including all my interviews with famous icons of the guitar world. Not because it was the hip place to be. It was because everyone there just loved guitars of any kind.

Deke Dickerson performing live at the 7th Annual Guitar Geek Festival

Deke Dickerson was the host of the show, or party, if you will. He emceed and played a variety of instruments throughout the night. Very well I might add. At one point “Deke” who had been dressed as a formal cowboy all evening, came out and did a Ramones tribute with his impromptu band which included Tom Kenny-the voice of Spongebob Squarepants as the lead singer. They were all in costume including the correct wigs.

I thought to myself, “this must be what NAMM would be like if you were on acid.” You see, not only were the mega stars of guitar at NAMM, but every poser on the planet was there too. I’m talking sunglasses and capes, mohawks and zoot suits. You name it. There were freaks covering ever possible mix of genre attire. The interesting thing was that they were not trying to be funny. Deke and his crew were. That is a big difference.

Another segment of the show was the “Electric 12 String Nightmare.” Anyone who brought an electric 12 string could join in on stage to play a song together. There were 17 takers. Have you ever heard seventeen 12 string electric guitars going at once? Me neither. It was worth the price of admission alone.

HoneyBoy Edwards was there and did a set with Joel Paterson, a guitarists guitarist. HoneyBoy is 94 years old and still gigging. Amazingly he had to leave because he had to get to another gig in L.A. Billed as the last living bluesman to play with Robert Johnson, he was worth the price of admission as well. Joel brought up his own band from Chicago and blew everyone away. Now I am an official “Joel Paterson and the Modern Sounds” fan. They were beyond “tight”.

At one point during the History of Lap Steel Guitars segment of the show, Chas Smith loosened some of my fillings with his 28 lbs of titanium fury monster slide guitar. Pushing the envelope with this instrument also was worth the ticket in.

Lots of other amazing stuff went down that night including dueling double neck guitars with Brian Longbeck and Elaine Frizzell and it was all headlined by Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee Duane Eddy. He played a bunch of his stuff with Deke and Joel and never dropped a single note. And it wasn’t  just Duane who played to utter perfection, it was all of them. They are all Hall of Famers in my book. Yes, that includes you too, Crazy Joe. You did Enon, Ohio proud.

Guest post by Ben Vernon

Keanu Reeves defelecting obsticles in The Matrix

“There is no spoon,” those famous words that Neo said in The Matrix. But how can this phrase be applied to guitar playing?

You may think I’m crazy, but I think that this is completely relevant to Guitar playing. In this scene a young boy appears to bend a spoon, however he then tells Neo that it is not the spoon that bends it is only himself. So I say to you “don’t try and bend the strings, but bend the space around the strings.’ My attempt to dispel you all from thinking I’m crazy probably hasn’t worked yet, but stay with me.

It’s All in Your Head

The thing I’m really talking about is mindset. Put yourself in Jimi’s shoes for one second and you might start to understand what I’m going on about. When a guitar was in his hands he could conquer anything. Any bend. Any slide. Any hammer-on or pull-off. Anything. But why was this? Practice? Partially. Musical Influences? Slightly. He was god? Probably not.

Practice Will Only Get You So Far

The main reason he could achieve his guitaring excellence was because of one thing…Belief. Without this you will never achieve anything. This works for guitaring, but can also be applied to careers, relationships and so on. There might be a few sceptics out there umming and arring. But let me ask you this … Who practiced more Hendrix or Vai? Everyone’s answer should be Vai. You’ve all heard about his 30 hour workout right? But then if I asked you who was a better guitarist the response might be more equal and might even favour Hendrix more.

Jimi Says Believe

The point I am trying to make is that practice, hard work and determination can get you so far but the common denominator with all the great guitarists, as with Hendrix and Vai, is Belief. With belief comes practice, hard work and determination. This is where I think of my own guitaring and the hurdles that are stopping me from improving. When people ask me if I play guitar I usually have two responses; I used to play, or, that I’m not very good. Both of which completely lack any self-belief. So before, when I was analysing what I needed to do to improve my playing; more practice, learn a new scale, a new riff. What I really needed to do was believe in myself. Without believing in myself I cannot and will not improve. Ever!

So, do you believe in yourself? Is there a spoon? Because if there is you really need to rethink your reasons for playing guitar.

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The post you looking for is no longer available. Check out lots of awesome guitar articles at our Blog, or…

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Weird guitars fascinate me. I was surfing online and came across a picture of one that looked like a machine gun. That one appealed to me. I wonder if I can take one of those on Southwest Airlines in my overhead storage bin. It’s a guitar, right? I travel with one all the time. Just because it has a scope on it doesn’t make it dangerous. Actually it would be good for finding that waitress the other night who never brought me a glass of water to the stage even though I had politely asked. Some even have a clip on the bottom like an AK-47. The AK-74 is actually a superior weapon but its getting off the subject of guitars… That faux clip could be my pez dispenser. If I could rig up a t-shirt cannon to hang underneath it like a grenade launcher that would be sweet. I could shoot t-shirts into the audience without committing a felony. I could be like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator dispensing intergalactic justice. Of course, they would be ShareMyGuitar.com t-shirts. I wouldn’t want my bands logo on them in case I accidentally hit someone in the eye! All while shredding lead licks that only I and some larger breed of dogs could hear.

“Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator dispensing intergalactic justice”

I still owe a ShareMyGuitar.com t-shirt to Steve Seymor. He was the 1000th guitarist to friend us on our MySpace page. It was a milestone which was blurred by a couple thousand more that friended us within a short time. Steve – you are first in line- after me, my friends, relatives and fellow staff members, their friends and families and that one dude with the lazy eye… Don’t give up. I haven’t forgotten!

Back to the machine gun/sniper guitar that I want to get past airport security. The guitar strap lets you carry it like you are on the parade grounds of Camp Pendleton. Think Stanley Kubrick meets Eddie Van Halen, but instead of full metal jackets, Hanes t-shirts with pockets… The stock would be a storage container for extra pics and a mini mag-lite so I could see the knobs on my amp. Don’t get me started on that again! If I don’t post any articles for a while, and you see me on CNN being taken down by a SWAT team, it’s because I got one of those guitars and it turned out to be a really bad idea.

Over the years I have been a big fan of comedians who play guitar. Lets face it, it takes balls to get up in front of a bunch of strangers and attempt to make them laugh! But these guys step it up a notch by not only going on stage and trying to get laughs, but also playing guitar and singing about something pretty hysterical. I have to admit that I almost always enjoy it when a comedian plays guitar. It’s a good indication of something entertaining in the works. There are many of them out there. Here are a few good ones:

1. Adam “The Sand Man” Sandler

2. Dana Carvey

3. Bill Bailey

4. Mike Birbiglia

5. Stephen Lynch

1. Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny

According to IMDB the plot takes off in Venice Beach, naive Midwesterner JB bonds with local slacker KG and they form the rock band Tenacious D. Setting out to become the world’s greatest band is no easy feat, so they set out to steal what could be the answer to their prayers — a magical guitar pick housed in a rock-and-roll museum some 300 miles away. full summary

2. Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

The summary of this comedy classic according to wikipedia sets off in the future San Dimas, California, with Rufus (George Carlin) preparing to use a time-traveling phone booth to travel back to 1988 to make sure that Bill S. Preston, Esq. (Alex Winter) and Theodore “Ted” Logan (Keanu Reeves) remain together as the band “Wyld Stallyns”, as their music is the core of the future’s Utopian society.

3. Crossroads

The plot of Crossroads according to IMDB focuses on Ralph Macchio who potrays Lightning Boy, a kid who can make a slide guitar sing. Blind Dog is an old pro who knows it. Together, they’re headed to a place where deals are made. And legends are born.

4. School of Rock

The plot here per wikipedia begins with Dewey Finn  a hard rock singer and guitarist, is unanimously kicked out of his band No Vacancy by his bandmates for his arrogance and frequent hyperactive stage antics. His submissive roommate and lifelong friend Ned Schneebly, a substitute teacher, threatens Dewey with eviction under heavy pressure from his girlfriend unless Dewey “gets a real job” and pays off his growing rent debt. Dewey feels forced to give up his passion until he receives a phone call intended for Ned from Rosalie Mullins, principal of Horace Green, a prestigious prep school, asking Ned to fill in for a teacher who would be out for several weeks. Desperate for income to avoid getting evicted, Dewey impersonates Ned and takes the job as a substitute teacher for the fifth-grade class.

5. This is Spinal Tap

The plot according to IMDB begins with Marti DeBergi, a film-maker who decides to make a documentary, a rockumentary actually, about the world’s loudest band, the British heavy metal group Spinal Tap. The movie is in fact a biting satire and spoof of the whole rock and roll scene that passes itself off as a real documentary of a real band. Hilarious behind-the-scenes footage is combined with faux-concert clips to breath life into the imaginary group.

Alright, I’ve been stewing for a while over what irks me. I am not big on mixing new technology and guitars. There, I said it.

First off, I know Guitar Hero is just a game. The game teaches the masses nothing about playing a guitar. It might as well be in the shape of a plastic armadillo with buttons on it. It would get the same job done. The Johnson Smith Company is selling a contraption called an E-Z Chord device that clamps on your guitar neck and you can play chords with one finger? At least do that. It involves a guitar AND teaches you nothing. Go to skymall.com and pick up one of those for under $50. That’s right, a Swap Meet guitar and one of those is still cheaper than Guitar Hero, and you will instantly be fully qualified to join SMG.com as a guitarist. Please post a picture of your new axe and that awesome alien device clamped to its neck, which renders the guitar unplayable.

Guitar Effect Pedals – Photo by BTBAM

There are folks in the industry who dream up stuff that is unnecessary and market it to the masses as mandatory equipment. Like what you ask? How about guitar tuners. I took a few, and I mean a few lessons when I was a kid. On my first lesson, the instructor showed me how to tune a guitar by ear. On my second visit, he twisted all the tuners up and down in different directions and handed the guitar back to me and said “fix this”. I did, and lesson #2 began. It didn’t require a $99.99 tuner from the mega guitar store (I don’t need to say the name, do I?).

How about guitar pedals? What? Seriously, I have a couple I like. The gain and tone knobs do it for me most of the time. Some guys I know have a suitcase full of them for gigs that takes up as much space on the floor as a drum kit. I watch these guys during shows and most only step on a couple, maybe three the whole night. The rest are brightly colored “flair” that serve as a shoulder rotator cup irritant for the person who has the honor to lug that suitcase around. I remember how Great Grandma had an organ in the parlor that had some settings that made weird sounds. I would mess around with them. I also remember that after 5 minutes of playing with those switches it made everyone in the rooms’ pupils turn red as they all contemplated my early demise! Enough said about that. Besides, I never saw live or on video, B.B. King , Eric Clapton or Jeff Beck standing on a mountain of pedals.

Fender Road Worn Strat

Road Worn guitars also drive me nuts. Sorry Fender, I love you guys but the whole idea of selling “pre-damaged” guitars at an extra cost does not sit well with me. We used to call new guitars with flaws “seconds” and they were sold at a substantial discount. The guy or girl that came up with that idea should get a Nobel Prize in AUDACIOUS MARKETING. I am not intentionally hard on my guitars, but most dings, cracks and finish fades I have inflicted on my guitars were not only accidental, but were so sickening to me when they happened, I actually was grief stricken and felt nausea coming on. Why not throw $1,500 bucks out your car window the next time you are on the freeway and call it a “pre-stolen” guitar? Rather than make up stories about world tour gigs where your guitar got banged up, you can tell a wild one about how your guitar was stolen out of your Lamborgini while you were dining with Jimmy Page. You can be a Guitar Hero master and pull that one off. No guitar playing required. Ah, but what about the Lamborghini you ask? Stolen the next day. Who would have guessed?!

I didn’t mention the Gibson Robot Guitar. Why? Because I want one! The thing about me not liking mixing technology and guitars? As it turns out, I lied. To my friends at Gibson, I like the blue one the best.

SMG is pleased to present our first guest post. Thanks F. Condell for allowing us to publish this great article!

When requesting a song from the band, just say “play … my song!” We have chips implanted in our heads with an unlimited database of the favorite tunes of every patron who ever walked into a bar and all songs ever recorded so feel free to be vague, we love the challenge.

If we say we really don’t remember that tune you want, we’re only kidding. Bands do know every song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if need be… it helps jog the memory, or just repeat your request over and over again.

Photo by UpYourEgo

If a band tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they either forgot they know the tune or they are just putting you on. Try singing a few words for the band. Any words will do. It also helps to scream your request from across the room several times per set followed by the phrases, “AW COME ON!” and, “YOU SUCK!”

Exaggerated hand gestures expressing disapproval from the dance floor are a big help as well, such as the thumbs down or your middle finger up put-downs are the best way to jog a band’s memory. This instantly promotes you to the status of “Personal Friend Of The Band.” You can bet your request will be the next song we play.

Entertainers are notorious fakers and jokesters and never really prepare for their shows. They simply walk on stage with no prior thought to what they will do once they arrive. We don’t actually make set lists or rehearse songs. We mostly just wait for you to yell something out, then fake it.

An entertainer’s job is so easy, even a monkey could do it, so don’t let them off the hook easily. Your request is all that matters. Once you’ve figured out what genre of music the band plays, please make your requests from a totally different genre. The more exaggerated the better. If its a blues band playing, yell for some Metallica or Slayer or Pantera. Likewise, if its a death-speed metal band, be sure to request Brown-eyed Girl or some Grateful Dead. Musicians need to constantly broaden their musical horizons, and its your job to see that it happens…. immediately.

TALKING WITH THE BAND

The best time to discuss anything with the band in any meaningful way is at the middle of a song when all band members are singing at the same time. Our hearing is so advanced that we can pick out your tiny voice from the megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us. And we can converse with you in sign language while singing the song, so don’t worry that we’re in the middle of the chorus.

Musicians are expert lip readers too. If a musician does not reply to your question or comment during a tune, it’s because they didn’t get a good look at your mouth in order to read your lips. Simply continue to scream your request and be sure to over emphasize the words with your lips. This helps immensely. Don’t be fooled. Singers have the innate ability to answer questions and sing at the same time. If the singer doesn’t answer your questions immediately, regardless of how stupid the question may seem, it’s because they are purposely ignoring you. If this happens, immediately cop an attitude. We love this.

IMPORTANT

When an entertainer leans over to hear you better, grab his or her head in both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding their head securely so they cannot pull away. This will be taken as an invitation to a friendly and playful game of tug of war between their head and your hands. Don’t give up! Hang on until the singer or guitar player submits. Drummers are often safe from this fun game since they usually sit in the back, protected by the guitar players. Keyboard players are protected by their instrument, and only play the game when tricked into coming from behind their keyboards. Though difficult to get them to play, it’s not impossible, so keep trying. They’re especially vulnerable during the break between songs.

HELPING THE BAND

If you inform the band that you are a singer, the band will appreciate your help with the next few tunes, or however long you can remain standing on stage. If you’re too drunk to stand unassisted, simply lean on one of the band members or the most expensive piece of equipment you see. Just pretend you’re in a Karaoke bar. Simply feel free to walk up on stage and join in. By the way, the drunker you are, the better you sound, and the louder you should sing. If by chance you fall off the stage, be sure to crawl back up and attempt to sing harmony. Keep in mind that nothing assists the band more than outrageous dancing, fifth and sixth part harmonies, or a tambourine played on one and three and out of tempo. Try the cowbell; they love the challenge. The band always needs the help and will take this as a compliment.

Photo by ash-man

Finally, the microphone and PA system are merely props, they don’t really amplify your voice, so when you grab the mic out of the singers hand be sure to scream into it at the top of your lungs, otherwise no one will hear what a great singer you are. Hearing is over-rated anyhow. The crowd and the sound guy will love you for it.

BONUS TIP

As a last resort, wait until the band takes a break and then get on stage and start playing their instruments. They love this. Even if you are ejected from the club, you can rest assured in the fact you have successfully completed your audition. The band will call you the following day to offer you a position.